Judaism is a religion centered on loving our neighbors, loving G-d and using this love to direct action towards goodness. But what is love? And how does love connect us to the natural world?
Nice piece. How do you think about self-love? Your definition of love is big on how we relate to systems and objects outside the self, so I’m curious how love for the self fits into that framework, if at all. Would we be better off just calling self-love something else entirely?
This is a really great question, and in it something I certainly would like a whole article on, but in lieu of that, here are my current thoughts on self love:
Before examining self love, we need to understand what the “self” actually is. The self is not a single thing, but is constituted by numerous systems interacting. These systems compose the individual organism we commonly designate as having a “self” – but in addition to those closely-bound systems, external systems deeply shape who we become and the ideas we hold dear. The self arises at the intersection of body and mind, and when we direct our love towards our self, this love can be directed at just the mind, just the body, or the entire complex system we call our self. But love itself is something we become cognizant within our own mind. If, as I stated above, love is a force which motivates connection, attachment and the extension of one’s sense of self, then self-love is the force by which we come to feel “at home” within our body, mind, and place in the world. Self-love is the process by which we affirm our existence in the world. Love does not mean complacency – we may love ourselves, but this does not mean we ought to become fully satisfied with the world we have. Love is an active force, it drives us to take action to find a harmonious balance of between living for our self and living for our loved ones. Love is anchored in extending our sense of belonging beyond our mind and body and into the world at large. Self-love is the first step by which we become whole in the world.
Thanks for the thoughtful response. Not sure if you meditate at all, but this reminds me of a practice called metta, or loving-kindness meditation. You can google it for a better definition than I can give you, but the gist of it is to induce feelings of benevolence by wishing goodwill towards someone you love, only to then turn those feelings on yourself. The idea is to practice loving kindness towards both others and yourself, and in the process to blur the division between the two. It seems like your understanding of love for others and oneself vibes with the ethos of metta and the way it uses love as a bridge between self and other. You might check it out if you aren't familiar already.
I think defining love may be useful in terms of understanding ourselves and our world, but I don't think that an individual can ever really define their love for other things, and certainly not their love for other people (or pets 🤷♀️). It's just something we feel, and we can examine its impact on ourselves and our society (ecology?) to try to glean some understanding of ~it~.
Nice piece. How do you think about self-love? Your definition of love is big on how we relate to systems and objects outside the self, so I’m curious how love for the self fits into that framework, if at all. Would we be better off just calling self-love something else entirely?
This is a really great question, and in it something I certainly would like a whole article on, but in lieu of that, here are my current thoughts on self love:
Before examining self love, we need to understand what the “self” actually is. The self is not a single thing, but is constituted by numerous systems interacting. These systems compose the individual organism we commonly designate as having a “self” – but in addition to those closely-bound systems, external systems deeply shape who we become and the ideas we hold dear. The self arises at the intersection of body and mind, and when we direct our love towards our self, this love can be directed at just the mind, just the body, or the entire complex system we call our self. But love itself is something we become cognizant within our own mind. If, as I stated above, love is a force which motivates connection, attachment and the extension of one’s sense of self, then self-love is the force by which we come to feel “at home” within our body, mind, and place in the world. Self-love is the process by which we affirm our existence in the world. Love does not mean complacency – we may love ourselves, but this does not mean we ought to become fully satisfied with the world we have. Love is an active force, it drives us to take action to find a harmonious balance of between living for our self and living for our loved ones. Love is anchored in extending our sense of belonging beyond our mind and body and into the world at large. Self-love is the first step by which we become whole in the world.
Thanks for the thoughtful response. Not sure if you meditate at all, but this reminds me of a practice called metta, or loving-kindness meditation. You can google it for a better definition than I can give you, but the gist of it is to induce feelings of benevolence by wishing goodwill towards someone you love, only to then turn those feelings on yourself. The idea is to practice loving kindness towards both others and yourself, and in the process to blur the division between the two. It seems like your understanding of love for others and oneself vibes with the ethos of metta and the way it uses love as a bridge between self and other. You might check it out if you aren't familiar already.
First of all, I can't not read "dear reader" in the Lady Whistledown voice (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bs9r1UbmFAI&t=6s). Very comforting.
I think defining love may be useful in terms of understanding ourselves and our world, but I don't think that an individual can ever really define their love for other things, and certainly not their love for other people (or pets 🤷♀️). It's just something we feel, and we can examine its impact on ourselves and our society (ecology?) to try to glean some understanding of ~it~.